The 15 Best Futurama Quotes

	Bender: 'Blackmail' is such an ugly word. I prefer 'extortion' ... the 'x' makes it sound cool.
	Farnsworth: Get off my property! Free Waterfall Jr: Pssh! You can't own property, man! Farnsworth: I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippie!
	Fry: It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?
	Beck: Congratulations, friend. Bender: Why, 'cause I can make annoying noises? Beck: Exactly. I use those all the time in my music.
	Morbo: Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates... Puny human no. 1, puny human no. 2, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon. Nixon: Hello Morbo, how's the family? Morbo: Belligerent and numerous. Nixon: Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.
	Leela: Bender, this is Fry's decision... and he made it wrong. So it's time for us to interfere in his life.
	Bender Narrating: You're watching Futurama: the show that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery.
	Zapp Brannigan: Wow, one day a man has everything...,then the following day he blows up a $40 billion space station, and the next day he has nothing. It really makes you think. Kif: No it doesn't.
	Soldier: This is the worst part...the calm before the battle. Fry: And then the battle's not so bad? Soldier: I forgot about the battle!
	Al Gore: My fellow Earthicans, as I discuss in my book "Earth in the Balance," and the much more popular "Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth," we need to defend our planet against pollution. As well as dark wizards. Dark Wizard: Sure, blame the wizards!
	Amy: Jinkies! He Scooby-Dooed us!
	Fry: You can't just kill somebody because they're ugly and corrosive. Amy: That's what we said about Zoidberg, and look where that got us. Zoidberg: Amy makes a good point.
	Hermes: Film? Who uses film? We've had digital cameras for a thousand years! Bender: Digital? [spits] No digital camera can capture the warmth and grain o' good, ol' film. Farnsworth: How can you even tell? Your eyes are digital cameras.
	Bender: Life is about decisions. Make the wrong ones and you'll wind up face down in a pool of your own blood and urine. Zoidberg: Still, to have your own pool!
	Fry: What's so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us aren't normal and that's what makes us great. Like Dr. Zoidberg: He's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage and does. The Professor's a senile, amoral crackpot. Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant. Amy's a klutz from Mars. Farnsworth: And, Fry, you've got that brain thing. Fry: I already did!

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Jeffrey Dale Starr is a vodka enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

The Wine of Star Wars Part II: The Empire Kicks Back

Due to massive public outcry demanding more, we bring you another batch of time-wasting foolishness.

The Gungan Army Sea Smoke Botella "The enemy has this massive droid army, and we've got - what? Glowing balls and catapults? Weesa need some kind of advantage, and the morning fog is it" said Captain Tarpals. "Plus, it's pretty cool to come rolling in all 'Throne of Blood' style."

Darth Maul Gnarly Head "Yeah, joke about the head...very original" the visibly exasperated Dathomiri Nightbrother declared. "'Is your Mom a crocodile?', 'You have a little something on your face'...yep, heard 'em all." He quickly followed up, "I will take the wine, however."

Aks Moe Holy Cow Chardonnay "I'm not actually a cow, I'm a diplomat and Senator from the glorious planet of Malastare" the three-eyed cow was heard to say (or is it 'herd' to say?)

Luke Skywalker The Dead Arm Shiraz "So right after my 'Dad' cuts off my hand, Solo brings me this bottle of wine as a gag. But it's actually pretty tasty! Han can make fun of me all he wants, but I'm really strong in that arm now" Skywalker remarked. "And I think the princess was checking me out. You know, she's pretty cute...and I think we have a lot in common!"

C-3PO Pink Champagne What else would C-3PO drink?

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Jeffrey Dale Starr is a wine enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

Bedford Beer and Cider Festival - Bedfordshire, England

Wednesday 2nd to Saturday 5th October 2013
Corn Exchange, St Paul’s Square, Bedford MK40 1SL
Open: Wed 4-11, Thu-Sat 12-11


Admission prices:
Before 4pm £1, after 4pm: Wed £2, Thu £3, Fri £4, Sat £2
CAMRA members admitted free at all times on showing a valid membership card. No one under age 18 admitted – ID may be required.

More than 100 real ales plus about 40 real ciders and perries
Wide range of draught and bottled foreign beers from Belgium, Germany and other countries

Hot and cold food available every lunchtime and evening, Saturday all day. Souvenir pint and half-pint glasses available at £2.50 sale or return. Draught beers and ciders sold in full, half and third pint measures. Wide range of CAMRA and brewery books, clothing and products available Win unusual prizes on the tombola or bar game

Our Engraver will customise your glass or other objects for you

Live entertainment:
Wednesday evening Dr Busker
Saturday lunchtime Bedford Morris Men and friends
Saturday evening local blues singer Kerry Hodgkin and group

Festival Website

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Jeffrey Dale Starr is a beer enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

The 10 Greatest Screamers in Rock History

OK, first off - I'm not including bands that do nothing but scream. For one thing, I don't know that much about them and for another I don't think it's that powerful to just scream all the time. Chocolate cake is awesome until it's the only thing you're allowed to eat...then it gets old really fast.

Also, I don't claim that these are the only great screamers. These are just the best of the stuff that's on my iPod.

10. Bon Scott AC/DC Scott typically sounded like a barking dog when he sang (which would probably get him on this list anyway), but from time to time he'd really let loose like the way he sings the word "explode" at the end of "T.N.T.".

9. Joe Strummer The Clash A great gravelly voice at all times, Joe hit his screaming peak at the end of "Total Control" when he's just ad-libbing ("this is Joe speaking..."). Wild and genuine.

8. Paul McCartney The Beatles It's hard to believe that the baby-faced singer of "Michelle" could also belt out the wailing in "Helter Skelter", "Twist and Shout", and "Maybe I'm Amazed"...but wow.

7. Al Jourgensen Ministry Stigmata. 'Nuff said.

6. John Lydon PIL "Anarchy in the U.K.", "God Save the Queen"...textbook examples of screaming. But my favorite from the former Johnny Rotten is still "Public Image" from the PIL debut. Relentless guitar, relentless energy.

5. Prince Some people might be surprised to see the funk master on this list, but it's hard to find a wilder, more guttural primal scream than the ending of "Let's Go Crazy" when he yells Take Me Away. And the mind-blowing intensity at the end of "The Beautiful Ones".

4. Robert Plant Led Zeppelin One of the original greats. Sometimes he just belted it out from the get-go ("The Song Remains The Same") or performed that wonderful contrast between smooth crooning and screaming within the same song ("What Is And What Should Never Be", "I'm Gonna Crawl").

3. Janis Joplin If the only song she ever recorded was "Piece of My Heart", she would still be #3 on this list.

2. Jim Morrison The Doors Up until 1987, Morrison would have topped this list without equal (more on that in a second.) But no other singer in the history of rock has been so naturally smooth and Sinatra-esque, and then 5 seconds later release a deafening scream. And you didn't get the sense that he was showing off...Jim was just a raging storm with a cool veneer.

1. Black Francis Pixies There are no words to describe what Black Francis recorded on those first 5 Pixies albums. Wild, animalistic, primal, insane. He's been mimicked a million times since, but nothing can match the raw energy of "Tame", "Debaser", "Planet of Sound", etc. Stills gives me chills after all these years.

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Jeffrey Dale Starr is a whiskey enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

Beethoven & Brews in Denver Tonight!

Experience the symphony in a brand new way… with great beer!

Enjoy an exclusive beer tasting paired with hors d’oeuvres and the sounds of a Colorado Symphony chamber ensemble performing Beethoven. Staff from Wynkoop Brewing Co. will be on hand to pour a special selection of beer while you enjoy the music. After sampling four to five distinct brews grab a full glass of your favorite from the cash bar. The musical selection and brews will be revealed at each event.

Presented by Magnolia Hotel Denver, Wynkoop Brewing Co. and Schmitt Music

Be sure to secure your ticket early as there is limited availability!

Ticket Price: $65 per person

Location: The Magnolia Hotel Ballroom, 818 17th Street Denver, CO 80202

Parking: Due to the nature of the event, we encourage guests to use alternative modes of transportation. Valet at the Magnolia Hotel is $16, otherwise there are self-parking options within a block of the event.

Info at Colorado Symphony

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Jeffrey Dale Starr is a beer enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

Houston Wine Fest

September 28th & 29th
Hermann Square Park

Texas is home to over 200 wineries which makes the lone star state the 5th largest wine producing state in America. Our festival will host a generous selection of different Texas Wineries, each bringing a number of wines for you to taste and sip. We’re proud of the wineries that call Texas home and we hope you add their wines to your list of favorites.

Entertainment includes:

• Elle King
• Houstonian Big Band
• Henry and the Invisibles
• Tony Vega Band
• Alisha Pattillo
• Portland Cello Project
• Little Freddie King
• Apollo Cobra
• Step Rideau and the Zydeco Outlaws
• Morris Day and the Time
• Mango Punch
• Dominic Amato
• DJ Nimbus
• Matt Wilson
• Soul Track Mind
• Liberated Soul

Houston Wine Fest website

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Jeffrey Dale Starr is a wine enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

Tequila of the Day: Casa Noble Single Barrel Reposado

Casa Noble Single Barrel Reposado

DESCRIPTION:
The aging process begins by using only the finest, hand-selected French white oak barrels that are lightly charred for the optimal aging of their tequila. They extend the aging of Casa Noble Reposado for 364 days, the maximum and most desired length of aging for Reposado Tequila, and an unprecedented five years for their Añejo.

This lengthy process is carefully monitored by their Maestro Tequilero for flavor evolution and evaporation which is known as the "angel's share." The hand-made bottles in their single barrel program are then individually numbered, labeled and signed by the Makers.

Each barrel has its own individual flavor footprint that makes every bottle a true masterpiece, one that is both precious and unique.

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Jeffrey Dale Starr is a tequila enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

Movie Review: "Austenland" Fails To Understand Its Audience

I am a huge Jane Austen fan. "Pride and Prejudice" is one of my all-time favorite books, and Austen is in my top-3 favorite authors (along with William Faulkner and Kurt Vonnegut...in no particular order.)

So I know what the audience for a movie like this one wants.

Here's the premise: a late-30-something spinster (Keri Russell) is absolutely obsessed with Jane Austen. She has had terrible romantic relationships and seems to have a difficult time coping with the modern world.

Then she hears about Austenland, a kind of role-playing theme park wherein the guests can become absorbed in the worlds of Emma, Mr. Darcy and the Dashwoods. She thus cleans out her savings account and heads off to England.

At this point, the movie is fairly engaging. Her obsession with Austen is a bit over the top, but that's alright.

The movie begins to fail when it actually arrives at Austenland. The tone is broad comedy, and there are more than a few crude jokes (usually involving Best In Show actress Jennifer Coolidge.) This is where the director makes a serious misstep. Literature fans in 2013 are reading Jane Austen for a reason. And it isn't to get humor one can find on Two and a Half Men. The moments of Georgian-era innocence juxtaposed with modern crassness simply do not work. They are jarring and completely break the mood.

After seeing it, I thought about this movie for days. And I kept coming back to the same thought - how much better it would have been if they had played it straight. Basically, once Russell's character gets to Austenland, have the movie turn into the equivalent of a Jane Austen adaptation. Then one of the key messages of the movie would have been driven home more effectively: what is reality? That way the movie could be more of an existential puzzle...is what we're seeing real, or part of the theme park? Does it matter? Are our own lives more tangible than our thoughts?

I really, really wanted to love this movie. But in the end, it was a misfire.

Mr. Darcy would agree.

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Jeffrey Dale Starr is a world traveler, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

Review: Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

When it comes to movies, TV shows and plays writing is everything.

And that is what makes Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. a bona-fide winner. Even though the pilot was co-written with his brother and sister-in-law, it has Joss Whedon's fingerprints all over it. Whedon is responsible for some classics, but my personal favorite is his run on Astonishing X-Men.

It's a fine line to make dialogue clever (but not too clever); to add surprising twists (but not so surprising as to be implausible); and to keep things moving quickly (but not too quickly). This first episode handled that balancing act perfectly. There was one twist in particular that was a bit of a shock, but spoke volumes about the character who initiated it.

I have one complaint, albeit a small one: during the big climax, the 'bonding moment' between the team members, the camera paused on each individual for a reaction shot. It felt a little heavy-handed, but it's a small quibble.

Really great start!

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Jeffrey Dale Starr is a tequila enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

Wine of the Day: 2010 Aiken Oakville Cabernet Sauvignon

2010 Aiken Oakville Cabernet Sauvignon

WINERY:
AIKEN WINES, St. Helena, California

DESCRIPTION:
Oakville Cabernet Sauvignon is renowned worldwide and I believe Oakville Ranch is one of the best vineyards in the appellation. The fruit in 2010 ripened perfectly and was harvested on October 19 before any rain had fallen. The wine has deep, dark color, fully ripe tannins and refreshing acidity. It displays aromas and flavors of ripe black cherries, cassis and mocha. The texture is lush with integrated tannins and a long lingering finish. Although it is drinking beautifully now, this wine will age for many years to come.

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Jeffrey Dale Starr is a wine enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

L.A. Whiskey Society

I've added a link to the website of the L.A. Whiskey Society because they are a wonderful resource for whiskey enthusiasts, whether you live in Southern California or not. Their site offers extensive whiskey reviews and articles. Check em out!

LA Whiskey Society

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Jeffrey Dale Starr is a whiskey enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.