Great Bands With Good Names, Great Bands With Bad Names

It's funny how our perception of names changes because of what we associate with the named thing. For example: if most people had never heard of Apple Computer, they would think that the name was terrible. "Apple? What's that supposed to mean?" But since most Mac users are passionate about their technology of choice, they start to think that 'Apple' is the coolest and most obvious name for a computer company ever.

Which brings us to the names of bands. Maybe more than any other entity, our opinions of band names are shaped by what we think of the musical group in question. So I took a few steps back and tried to have an honest look at the names of some of my favorite bands. And it hurts to admit it, but some of my most beloved groups have terrible monikers.



The Good

Camera Obscura

A name that suits the band very well. It's classic (like 18th century classic), classy and memorable.

Galaxie 500

I have to admit - I was always very jealous of this name. My friend Brian actually owned an old Galaxie 500, and I love the imagery that it conjures up: both a big old boat of a car, and a dreamy space-travel idea (zooming along in your rocket toward the mysterious 'Galaxy 500'...) Succinct, unforgettable, awesome name.

Joy Division

A perfect name for this band. On the surface it seems like a happy name, until you learn the etymology. Then you realize it's quite fitting for a singer who killed himself at 23.

Led Zeppelin

Like everything else the boys did, this name is perfect. Keith Moon of The Who came up with name while recording the instrumental "Beck's Bolero" with Page, John Paul Jones and Jeff Beck. The track came out well, and they tossed around the idea of forming a new band. Moon allegedly said the band would go over like a lead balloon. Page remembered the joke two years later when he created Led Zeppelin. The name is just perfect...the weird spelling, the mysterious meaning, and even the letters 'L' and 'Z' look cool together. Perfect.

Pixies

First off, it's not 'The Pixies', it's just 'Pixies'. That's already strange. And the fabled creatures are like the band themselves...are they cute and harmless, or scary and a little malevolent? Yes. And to quote Bender Bending Rodriguez, "the 'X' makes it sound cool".

The Clash

Just saying the name sounds angry and harsh. And it fit these young punks railing against the injustices they saw.

The Fall

This is another name I was always jealous of. It's brief and elegant, but very rich in meaning. Much like the lyrics of Mark E. Smith, what can seem simple on the surface can be incredibly complex.

The Innocence Mission

This name could have been used ironically by a scary band (see: The Sisters of Mercy.) Not in this case. Karen and Don Peris make the most beautiful, uplifting music ever recorded...and the name fits them like a glove.

The Smiths

I realize that a lot of people would stick this in the 'Bad Name' category. But when you consider the outlandishness of Morrissey and musical genius of Johnny Marr, naming this group "The Smiths" is hilarious. The plainest, more boring name in the world for the greatest musical group of the 80s (in fact, ever...if you ask me) is brilliant.

Wilco

The name 'Wilco' comes from the phonetic alphabet used in old radio communications. It conjures up the golden age of Americana and folk culture from the 1920's to 1940's...which suits Jeff Tweedy's band just right, I would say.

The Bad

10,000 Maniacs

When this band first came out, I recommended them to everyone I knew. And the first 20 minutes of the conversation was always explaining that the horrible name was no indicator of the beautiful music they made.

Echo and the Bunnymen

Terrible, terrible name. This is one of the greatest bands ever. "Ocean Rain" is an absolute masterpiece. "The Cutter" is one of the greatest alternative rock songs ever recorded. And every time I recommended them to a new listener, they giggled at the name. Not good.

Gene

I don't know what Martin Rossiter and the lads were thinking. Maybe they wanted a plain name like their idols The Smiths, maybe it was some kind of comment on DNA, I don't know. But I do know that people always looked confused when I told them about the group. "Is it a guy named 'Gene'? How is it spelled? Like blue jeans?" Oy. When you have to go through that rigmarole, it's the sure sign of a bad name. All that being said, they were a fantastic band.

Gilbert O'Sullivan

Need to be careful about giving your band (or yourself) a gag name like Gilbert O'Sullivan. Because you might go and create one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking pop songs ever ("Alone Again (Naturally)"), and then your ridiculous name just diminishes your brilliance.

Roxy Music

Bryan Ferry might be the smoothest guy in the history of music, and "Avalon" might be the most elegant alternative rock album ever recorded. So what's up with that lame name? Bleh.

Squeeze

I don't know if it's some kind of British self-deprecating humor or what, but like Gilbert O'Sullivan, Chris Difford seems like he's not comfortable playing it straight. One of the best songwriting duos there is, Difford and Tilbrook seem determined to throw goofiness into their mix...like naming their band Squeeze. Awful.

The Beach Boys

Sounds like some guys just had a casual garage band and neglected to name themselves. Then they unexpectedly got a gig and had to come with a name in 30 seconds. I have no idea what the true origins of the name were, but a musical master like Brian Wilson deserved better.

U2

The fact that they overcame such a corny, horrible name shows just how talented these guys are.

XTC

Just like Chris Difford and Squeeze, Andy Partridge and Colin Moulding seem uncomfortable playing it straight. It's like some inner voice from their childhood is saying, "Don't act above your class!" It pains me to admit it, because XTC is hands-down one of my all-time favorite bands. "English Settlement", "Skylarking", "Mummur", "The Big Express"...on and on and on. Absolutely brilliant. And a terrible, terrible name that should be used by some second-rate hip-hop artist.

The Beatles

I know, I know...it sounds like sacrilege. And yes, I do think The Beatles are the greatest band ever. But that name is awful. Spelling it that way (like a drum beat...get it? -groan-). No matter; they overcame that lame name and it is now equated with excellence. A true testament to their earth-shattering genius.

---

Jeffrey Dale Starr is a vodka enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

The 10 Most Powerful Rock Songs Ever Recorded

I know powerful is a subjective word. So let me explain: these are songs that give me goosebumps, give me energy, make me want to run at full speed - I think that sums it up.

Obviously, I view two of the bands on this list as the two most powerful recording artists of all time...thus the multiple mentions.

10. Stigmata Ministry I know this probably sounds pretty mild by some of today's insane standards, but when this song came out I thought it was one of the wildest things I'd ever heard. To this day it fires me up. This was from the same time period as the Nine Inch Nails debut and Tones On Tail's "OK, This Is The Pops"...just a golden era of crazed energy.

9. Lucretia My Reflection The Sisters of Mercy "This Corrosion" is the better-known song from this album, but I love the slow burn of "Lucretia". That bass and snare at the beginning are a song all by themselves, but when Andrew Eldritch starts his baritone rumble and the distorted guitar kicks in, I'm ready to lift some weights.

8. Achilles Last Stand Led Zeppelin "Presence" is probably Led Zeppelin's most unknown album, and frankly, it's kind of a mixed bag to me. But "Achilles Last Stand" is practically an album in itself. Jimmy Page constructs the music from a classical composer's 'variations on a theme' mentality, and the song contains those incredible changing time signatures that make Led Zeppelin music so ageless. Epic, epic song.

7. Sabotage Beastie Boys Hilarious video, awesome song, perfect structure. When all three Boys start yelling at the end of the middle break, the hair on my neck stands up. As Sir Stewart Wallace might say, "Well done, chaps...well done."

6. Tame Pixies Most of this album could be on this list, so I'll pick the wildest and most visceral song. "Tame" is the song that made me love Pixies. To this day, I can't say that I fully understand it, but whatever is going on in Black Francis' head is 100% sincere. fell on your face in those bad shoes...

5. Immigrant Song Led Zeppelin What a crazy, crazy work of art. Page's lunging guitar is like a runaway locomotive, Bonham sounds like he's playing his drums with baseball bats, Plant riffing "Bali Ha'i", and those Thor lyrics...could have been a mess, instead it's pure awesome.

4. The Light Before We Land The Delgados Not a lot of people know this band, but this song is worth checking out. It was used in the anime "Gunslinger Girl", but is worthy of a 70mm film masterpiece. Emma Pollock's solo stuff is pretty good too, but this song is in a class by itself. Imagine if Wagner were alive today writing indie rock.

3. Never Let Me Down Again Depeche Mode An indicator of how much I love this song: even after 25 years, if it comes on the radio I blast the volume. When those massive bass notes come in at the beginning, it's like the sun exploded. It reminds me a lot of The Cure's "Plainsong", but I give the edge to this one because Dave Gahan's singing is just as powerful as the music.

2. Planet of Sound Pixies The first time I heard this song, I didn't know what to make of it. I was at Hogwild Records in San Antonio with my friend Brian Nasseri and the owner played the newly-arrived single. It sounded like noise (and I was the biggest Pixies fan on earth.) But when it finally, finally sunk in...wow. That insane crescendo at the end where Black Francis' scream blends perfectly with Joey Santiago's guitar and it sounds like wrenches in a blender...and then....BAM! Silence. A fraction of a second, then "Alec Eiffel"....what an album.

1. Kashmir Led Zeppelin Not only the most powerful rock sound ever written, it's the greatest rock song ever recorded period. If you happen to see the documentary It Might Get Loud, make it a point to watch the extras. Jimmy Page explains the chord progressions of "Kashmir" and Jack White and The Edge are looking on as if watching Einstein explain how he came up with the Theory of Relativity. No rock song will ever touch this one, ever.

Well, that's my list.

Just missed: "Heart-Shaped Box", "We Will Rock You", "Hey Hey My My (Into The Black)"

Please feel free to share your thoughts!

---

Jeffrey Dale Starr is a beer enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

The 10 Best Alternative Rock Albums. Ever. Unquestionably.

As you might have guessed from the sarcastic title of this post, I know it's problematic to try to name the 10 best anything.

So these are 10 of my favorite alternative albums and the reasoning behind my choice (obviously there is a whole lot more than this...see "Grandaddy", "Echo & The Bunnymen", etc.)

10. Trust Elvis Costello In his career, Elvis Costello has recorded dozens and dozens of brilliant songs. But with his daring and prodigious output comes some stinkers (see King of America.) However, when he released Trust, Costello hit a high note from beginning to end...it's a perfect album. "New Lace Sleeves", "Clubland", "Watch Your Step" - these might be the three best songs EC ever recorded and they're on the same album. Running a close second would be Imperial Bedroom.

9. The Soft Bulletin The Flaming Lips It's not often that you hear something so unique that you've never it heard before, and yet it's still moving and listenable. The Soft Bulletin is a weird record, to be sure...but it's also beautiful, epic and touching. Race For The Prize is probably the best song the Lips ever recorded, and Waitin' On A Superman always makes me cry (and I don't know why.) It's fitting that the album cover looks like a movie poster. This record would make a wonderful soundtrack to some undiscovered Luis Buñuel film.

8. Reckoning R.E.M. It's hard to believe today, but in 1983 R.E.M. was the greatest band in America. Their first full-length album, Murmur was an absolute masterpiece and energized an entire genre of music. It seemed impossible that they could follow up that debut with anything near that level, but they actually surpassed it. Reckoning built on the solid foundation of its predecessor and expanded it with a broader range of style ("(Don't Go Back to) Rockville", "Letter Never Sent".) And "Harborcoat" is the finest song in R.E.M.'s vast catalog.

7. London Calling The Clash This choice will be a surprise to no-one. I remember the joy I had when I bought this LP...the great packaging of that fold-out double-album. The songs were a bit of a shock at first - up until this release The Clash were very much a punk band. But then I was so moved by "Clampdown", "Lost In The Supermarket", Mick's wail on "The Card Cheat"...I knew this was all-time greatness.

6. Scary Monsters David Bowie A perfect, weird, glorious album. Bowie's strengths have always been strangeness and genuine emotion, and this record has both in abundance. Every song is extremely strong, and "Ashes To Ashes" is Bowie's finest hour. What an incredible run he had - Heroes, Lodger and then Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps). Amazing.

5. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot Wilco Wilco has released more than one perfect album. This is just the one that made me a hardcore fan for life. When I first heard Jeff Tweedy sing, I hadn't heard that kind of honest pain on record since Neil Young. "Pot Kettle Black", "I Am Trying To Break Your Heart", "War On War" ... it's like a greatest hits album. The other perfect Wilco albums: Summerteeth, Being There and The Whole Love. Not bad. Most bands would love to have one perfect album.

4. English Settlement XTC A lot of XTC fans prefer Skylarking, and that is a wonderful album, but English Settlement is the one that opened my eyes to the full potential of rock music, and it still holds a dear place in my heart. No matter how long I play guitar, I am still in awe of "Yacht Dance", "English Roundabout" and "Snowman". This is another band with multiple perfect albums. If you are an XTC novice, also check out Oranges and Lemons, Nonsuch and Black Sea.

3. Bossanova Pixies Choosing a favorite Pixies album is like choosing my favorite child. They are all complete masterpieces. And even though Doolittle is the one that set the bar, Bossanova still blows my mind because of how it expanded the Pixies sound. Doolittle is very trebly, whereas Bossanova is just heavy, heavy bass and fog-like in its thickness. "Is She Weird?", "The Happening", "Ana", "Velouria" and the zenith - "All Over The World". Just perfection.

2. OK Computer Radiohead A lot of Radiohead fans I talk to prefer The Bends, which is a fantastic album, but to me, there is no contest. OK Computer is Wagner, Beethoven and Led Zeppelin in its massive scope and daring. The opening chords of "Airbag" let you know that something huge is coming, and "Paranoid Android" seals the deal. If it weren't for the final band on this list, I would easily call this the greatest album ever made by anybody.

1. The Queen Is Dead The Smiths I am biased - I happen to think that The Smiths are the best band there ever was, so naturally I have to pick one of their records to top the list. Earlier I mentioned 'perfect albums'. Every single album The Smiths put out is a perfect album. But The Queen Is Dead is my pick because of the variety of style and due to the fact that the songs hit me on a visceral level. "The Boy With The Thorn In His Side", "I Know It's Over", "The Queen Is Dead"...these songs still grab me like the first time I heard them. However, my all-time favorite song by The Smiths is on another album - "Well I Wonder" from Meat Is Murder.

Well, that's my list.

Please feel free to share your thoughts!

---

Jeffrey Dale Starr is a beer enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

Music Review: Pixies EP1

Let me start off by saying there is Pixies music and there is Frank Black music. I love them both, but they are not the same thing (this could also be said about The Smiths music and Morrissey music.)

Pixies music is wild, weird, scary, off-beat, and usually hard to take in the first few listens. For the most part, Frank Black music is straight-ahead rock and roll, occasionally off-kilter, but much more 'normal' than Pixies stuff (a few notable exceptions: "Parry The Wind High Low" and the entire "Bluefinger" record.)

Which brings us to "EP1".

If this had been a Frank Black or even a Black Francis solo effort, I would have a very different opinion than I do.

But it's released as Pixies, my second-favorite band of all time (after the aforementioned Smiths.)

When I hit play on something called 'Pixies', I expect the elation and discomfort that I felt at my first listens of "Planet of Sound", "Tame", "The Happening", "River Euphrates" and all those masterpieces.

According to that measure, it's a mixed bag.

Since we're only talking about 4 songs, I'll break them down one by one.

"Andro Queen"

This is a really good Frank Black song. It would fit well on "Dog In The Sand". This does not seem like a Pixies song to me whatsoever. The singing is way too straight, there are no weird tempo changes, nothing really exciting. Just a Frank Black-style straightforward song. I would equate it to Frank's "The Swimmer".



"Another Toe In The Ocean"

Meh. This isn't even that good of a Frank Black song. Reminds me of the stuff from Frank Black and the Catholics (my least favorite Charles Thompson effort.) I hate to say it, but it's just kind of boring...and the lyrics are so-so.



"Indie Cindy"

This one definitely feels more Pixies-esque. Black Francis rattling off that Spanish and the weird changes definitely feels like old times. But where is the scream?



"What Goes Boom"

NOW we're talking. Pure, 100% awesome. This song makes sense as a natural follow-up to "Trompe Le Monde". If they put out an album of this stuff, I'd be there, there, there.



So, all-in-all not bad. It's great to have new Pixies stuff (and by the way, I loved "Bam Thwok"...one of my all-time favorite Pixies songs.) Hopefully they'll make more and hopefully it will be in the vein of "What Goes Boom".

And please bring back the scream. "TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMME!!!!!!"

---

Jeffrey Dale Starr is a tequila enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.

The 10 Greatest Screamers in Rock History

OK, first off - I'm not including bands that do nothing but scream. For one thing, I don't know that much about them and for another I don't think it's that powerful to just scream all the time. Chocolate cake is awesome until it's the only thing you're allowed to eat...then it gets old really fast.

Also, I don't claim that these are the only great screamers. These are just the best of the stuff that's on my iPod.

10. Bon Scott AC/DC Scott typically sounded like a barking dog when he sang (which would probably get him on this list anyway), but from time to time he'd really let loose like the way he sings the word "explode" at the end of "T.N.T.".

9. Joe Strummer The Clash A great gravelly voice at all times, Joe hit his screaming peak at the end of "Total Control" when he's just ad-libbing ("this is Joe speaking..."). Wild and genuine.

8. Paul McCartney The Beatles It's hard to believe that the baby-faced singer of "Michelle" could also belt out the wailing in "Helter Skelter", "Twist and Shout", and "Maybe I'm Amazed"...but wow.

7. Al Jourgensen Ministry Stigmata. 'Nuff said.

6. John Lydon PIL "Anarchy in the U.K.", "God Save the Queen"...textbook examples of screaming. But my favorite from the former Johnny Rotten is still "Public Image" from the PIL debut. Relentless guitar, relentless energy.

5. Prince Some people might be surprised to see the funk master on this list, but it's hard to find a wilder, more guttural primal scream than the ending of "Let's Go Crazy" when he yells Take Me Away. And the mind-blowing intensity at the end of "The Beautiful Ones".

4. Robert Plant Led Zeppelin One of the original greats. Sometimes he just belted it out from the get-go ("The Song Remains The Same") or performed that wonderful contrast between smooth crooning and screaming within the same song ("What Is And What Should Never Be", "I'm Gonna Crawl").

3. Janis Joplin If the only song she ever recorded was "Piece of My Heart", she would still be #3 on this list.

2. Jim Morrison The Doors Up until 1987, Morrison would have topped this list without equal (more on that in a second.) But no other singer in the history of rock has been so naturally smooth and Sinatra-esque, and then 5 seconds later release a deafening scream. And you didn't get the sense that he was showing off...Jim was just a raging storm with a cool veneer.

1. Black Francis Pixies There are no words to describe what Black Francis recorded on those first 5 Pixies albums. Wild, animalistic, primal, insane. He's been mimicked a million times since, but nothing can match the raw energy of "Tame", "Debaser", "Planet of Sound", etc. Stills gives me chills after all these years.

---

Jeffrey Dale Starr is a whiskey enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.