The Beer of Star Wars Part II: The Empire Kicks Back

The latest time-wasting installment of nerd nonsense.

Princess Leia Abrasive Ale "Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader’s leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board." "I don’t know where you get your delusions, laser brain." "Would it help if I got out and pushed?" 'Nuff said.

Lama Su Mother of All Storms It's not easy living on a water-covered planet that's in a constant storm state. "Can you imagine what it's like for me, living on Kamino? I mean, can you just imagine?", Mr. Su was overheard complaining to whoever would listen. "How do you plan a picnic? Why in the world do we still live here?!" He then drank his beer and calmed down.

Shmi Skywalker Lars Birth Of Tragedy "I can't explain it...ever since I had Ani I've craved this beer", the former slave used to say. Her appetite for this potent brew may be a clue to something else she couldn't explain.

Zam Wesell Assassin Imperial Stout "Man, I should really switch beers. But I can't resist the flavor!" Miss (Mr.) Wesell was referring to the fact that her (his) cover has been blown numerous times while tailing a target due to her (his) choice of brew. "I have this one last contract on Coruscant, and then it's retirement city!"

Qui-Gon Jinn Permanent Funeral "OK ... explain this to me: I 'defy' those arrogant do-nothings on the Jedi council ... that's my big crime ... and when devil-boy kills me, that's it. No more Qui-Gon. But precious Anakin - that little monster - becomes the terror of the galaxy, kills millions, biggest villain ever...he just throws the Emperor down a tube (with the selfish motive of saving his son, I might add), and suddenly he's redeemed and appears at the end of 'Jedi'. That's real fair. Whatever."

C-3PO Pink Champagne Yes, pink champagne is not beer. But what else would C-3PO drink?

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Jeffrey Dale Starr is a beer enthusiast, oil painter, and owner of mobile software company Purple Falcon.